Who’s draining your energy right now?
Let’s talk energy — not the kind that comes from coffee or sleep — but the invisible force you absorb from the people around you – the voices that fill your inbox, your feed, your thoughts — the quiet undercurrent that either propels you forward or keeps you stuck.
Your circle shapes your trajectory. Growth isn’t just about what you do — it’s about WHO you allow to do it with you.
Whether we realise it or not, we become deeply influenced by the voices we allow into our lives. Their words, their habits, their mindset — it all starts to shape our own. And if you’re serious about growing, then it’s time to be just as serious about who gets a seat at your table.
The people you engage with either ignite your ambition… or drain it.
They either challenge your thinking… or chain it to the familiar.
“Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” ~ Dan Pena
If you’re serious about growth, be just as serious about who gets a seat at your table.
When I started curating my circle
I’ll share something from my past self. For a long time, I carried connections out of habit – not alignment.
I kept people in my network because we had history — old colleagues, school friends, random contacts from networking events. I followed people on social media because I once admired them, or felt guilty unfollowing. I let people’s messages, negativity, and noise take up mental space — because blocking felt “too harsh”.
But then I realised: THIS IS MY LIFE. My mental bandwidth. My future.
So I started making decisions that protected my peace and nurtured my growth. I unfollowed people on LinkedIn whose content didn’t inspire or challenge me. I removed people from WhatsApp who only reached out to complain or gossip. I left groups I had outgrown. I stopped reading updates from those whose values no longer aligned with mine. And yes — I even hit ‘block’ when it was necessary.
And guess what? The world didn’t collapse. But my focus sharpened. My energy returned. And for the first time in a long time, I felt in control of what I was consuming — and who I was allowing into my mind.
Suddenly I felt I had more hours in my day to do things that light me up!
1. You become the average of the 5 people closest to you
You’ve heard the quote. You may have even repeated it. But have you truly acted on it?
Take a moment and list the five people you interact with most — online or offline. Do they uplift you? Do they challenge you to be better? Or are they stuck in cycles of negativity, fear, or comfort?
We absorb energy – and our closest circle is often the biggest influence on our mindset, motivation, and direction. If you’re spending most of your time with people who complain, doubt themselves, or resist change, that energy will rub off on you — slowly but surely.
The truth is BRUTAL: you cannot rise while clinging to what keeps you grounded in the past.
But when you’re around people who are learning, evolving, taking bold steps… you start to rise too. 🌱
Growth-minded people speak differently. They ask bigger questions. They invest in learning. They take action. And when you surround yourself with them — even just one or two — your world shifts.
You don’t need to burn bridges. But you do need to cross new ones.
Start small:
- Mute or unfollow accounts that drain you.
- Follow creators who challenge your thinking.
- Join a group, community, or mastermind where people are going places.
You owe it to your future self to be discerning. Because every conversation, every message, every scroll — it’s either adding value or stealing your time.
2. Curating your circle is self-respect in action
This isn’t about ego. It’s about energy and boundaries.
When you clear space, you create room — for better relationships, stronger focus, and bolder moves. You’re telling yourself: My time is valuable. My goals matter. My mindset deserves protection.
Curating your circle is not cruelty. It’s CLARITY.
If someone’s presence no longer serves your growth, it’s okay to let them go with love. If someone’s energy leaves you drained rather than inspired, it’s okay to step away. If someone only shows up when it’s convenient for them, it’s okay to close that door.
Because when you say no to what no longer fits, you say yes to the life you’re building.
✨ UPGRADE YOUR PEERS. This doesn’t mean cutting everyone off or being cold. It means being intentional. Join a mastermind. Follow people online who make you think bigger. Start conversations with people who stretch you. Growth doesn’t happen in isolation — it happens in connection 💡
“If you’re the smartest person in the room… you’re in the wrong room.”
🔥 So find a new room. Or build one.
Final Thoughts: Guard your inputs, grow your outputs
You wouldn’t drink dirty water. So why consume toxic content?
You wouldn’t let a stranger fill your home with clutter. So why allow your digital space to be filled with noise?
You’re not being rude by curating your circle. You’re being responsible.
And here’s the real magic: once you make space, the right people start showing up. The mentors. The friends. The collaborators. The people who speak the language of growth.
Make no mistake — your circle is your mirror. Choose CAREFULLY what you want reflected back.
🎯 Call to Action:
Audit your circle this week.
- Who uplifts you? Engage with them more.
- Who inspires you? Reach out.
- Who challenges you? Lean into these relationships.
- Who drains you? Create distance.
If someone doesn’t belong in your feed, inbox, or thoughts — let them go. Curate with courage. The future version of you will thank you for it.
Impact Coaching & Mentoring (ICM) for Leaders 